i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
