he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
