seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
