why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
