When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize