I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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