He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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