you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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