i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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