Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize