She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I deserve this hangover.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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