sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
