I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
