I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
