Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
