I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
