You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
