What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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