Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize