babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ttyl tear gas
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
