i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I pour the whiskey from now on
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
