He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
