Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
