naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
