Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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