She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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