I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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