Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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