It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
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Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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