i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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