me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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