At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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