period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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