2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i permit you to call me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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