I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize