; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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