Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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