they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
