I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
