Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
