He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
