how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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