$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
