:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize