guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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