Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
