You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
