Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
