I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
