I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
