We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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