my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation