i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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