last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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