i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
