I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
