weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
