I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
