I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
