Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
