Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize